New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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