You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
