Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
