a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
