oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
