Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
