11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
