On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
