No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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