how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
