i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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