Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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