i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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