wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So many bounce houses so little time
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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