Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
