There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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