I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
