just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
