He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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