My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
