Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
