I can tuck mytits in my pants
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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