..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
