Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
