Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
