So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
