when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
