I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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