Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
