she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
did i walk over a car last night?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
