don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you traded sex for a burrito?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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