I want to walk on stilts...naked
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Help. Why am I so naked?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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