I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
