Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
