Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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