I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
