5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
