when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
