no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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