dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
