he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
