Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
