i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.