STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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