Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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