Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
please don't ironically join a cult
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