I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
