I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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