I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
