God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
