man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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