i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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