I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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