They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize