Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
