I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
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He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize