You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
