i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
