Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
