I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
