So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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